This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.