I want to have your abortion
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
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His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket