you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?