Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
