You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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