Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
