Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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