dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
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