i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
