Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
