I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
