Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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