Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
