I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
