I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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