I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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