i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
