I've blown a few things in my day
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
