if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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