Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
birth control should be required to get into college
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize