Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
