all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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