the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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