my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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