i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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