The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
