I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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