I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
