Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
