U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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