it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
