i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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