Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize