i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
