**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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