sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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