Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
