some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Do vagina's smell?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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