Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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