the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I love you. Go after that dick
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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