id be glad to
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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