i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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