I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
someone owes me an orgasm
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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