So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
