My balls are so social today.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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