We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
