what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Randomize
