so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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