All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
