i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
