Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
