glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
