He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
FUCK WHALES
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
