I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
