I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
