he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize