if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My balls are so social today.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
