I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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