I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
