he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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