He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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